Greg on Gadgets, Girls, Games, and Ghetto Ish

Verizon iPhone Coming in Early 2011

According to to Verizon CEO Ivan Seidenberg during an interview with Fortune, has confirmed the iPhone coming to Verizon in early 2011. Rejoice those who like their head firmly wedged as far up Jobs’ ass as possible.

Well who didn’t see this coming? AT&T has a massively over-strained network due to all the iPhones out there, then the white iPhone got pushed back again to due to manufacturing issues, and Verizon, clearly showing that they can handle data hogs, with the average Droid user using more data than the average iPhone user without the outages. Then it went from hot rumor to ridiculously obvious when Verizon announced they were selling iPads with a MiFi hotspot router recently.

So now we can all look like jackasses drinking iBeer...

Now since Verizon is a CDMA network, and since most of the world runs on some type of GSM or HSPDA, its most likely that the Verizon iPhone won’t be a world phone, and instead will be limited to the U.S. and parts of Canada and Mexico. For most people though this isn’t a problem, as people hate leaving the country, because the U.S. is #1, and other countries couldn’t possibly have anything to offer.


My Opinion: iPhones suck. Not to say they aren’t good for what they do, but I see them more as a limitation than a enhancement. See, I’m a techie kind of guy, which is code for, “I like to play with gadgets and brag to you how much cooler my ish is than yours.” So the iPhone is like the military. If you have no discipline and your life sucks, then yeah the military is good for you. If you don’t know shit about technology and need your tech simple, the iPhone is a godsend. However, those of us who like to be creative, like to make things their own, and understand technology, iPhones are a stepping stone to high-end Android phones, like the Droid X, the Droid 2, and the Droid Incredible.

Bullet point not mentioned: It's Also The Shit.

Perfect example: the iPhone JUST got wallpapers. Really? A shitty goPhone from 2006 had wallpapers. How are you JUST now getting them? You know why? Because Steve Jobs didn’t think you could handle it. It would be too complicated for you guys. Think about it. When your phone is so simple a 99-year old woman can pick it up and figure it out, your phone is pretty damn simple.


What can my phone do? Whatever the FUCK I want it to. I can have a video of me riding the back of a robot unicorn while firing a minigun and getting a blowjob from Angelina Jolie as a wallpaper if I so chose. That’s why my phone (Droid X) is the shit. Hey did you have a video you recorded and want to show people? No one wants to crowd around your small ass screen on that phone, and you can talk all day about your Retina Display, but you don’t even know what the hell that means. I can hook up my phone to an HDMI and we are watching videos in 720p. Run it. 8MP camera, so I can zoom in so close I can see a fly get a hard-on. Run it.

Dragonfly penis was the closest I can find...

So if you are on Verizon and you REALLY want an iPhone, you don’t have much longer to wait. For those of us who have more than 10 functioning brain cells, we will pass.

2 responses

  1. Pingback: Tweets that mention Verizon iPhone Coming in Early 2011 « GregIsDumb.Com --

  2. I’m not easily impressed. . . but that’s imspresnig me! 🙂

    June 8, 2011 at 1:15 am

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