Greg on Gadgets, Girls, Games, and Ghetto Ish

Who Says No to Weed?

I had a discussion with a woman who I know to be very intelligent and usually right, but on this issue she was so wrong. We argued and argued, and eventually she said this little nugget of wisdom:

“Fine we should legalize weed, then cocaine, then crack, then rapists, then murderers.”

I’m sad the say, but that was about the dumbest f–king thing I have heard in some hours. How do you equate weed=murder? Her argument stemmed from the fact that a colleague is paralyzed from an accident from being hit by a high driver. That’s sad, but driving under the influence of ANYTHING is against the law. Driving while sleepy is illegal too, so do you want to outlaw sleep? Can I not take a nap without being arrested? I mean, since you are so concerned about what I do with my body and all.

Get your ass up, you're under arrest.

Let me break down to YOU, the people who did vote or who would have voted NO on Prop 19, why you are for slavery and are retarded as s–t.



1)Weed wasn’t made illegal because it got you high

It was made illegal because some douchebag paper baron who owned a metric f–kton of forest had a monopoly on the paper business. He was getting paper, both literally and figuratively. Then here come these a–holes with hemp. They were making ropes, clothes, getting high, and most important to him, PAPER. On top of that hemp was easier to grow and press into paper. So this dude, using his political connections (by connections, I mean big ass sacks of money thrown at politicians) got them to pass a federal law making weed illegal. If this prick wasn’t so greedy, you could have turned in your homework, got an A on it, then smoked your grade on the way home.

He would have been so proud...and high...



2) It’s harmful

You know what else is harmful. Nicotine. Especially in tobacco. Cigarettes, for those who aren’t catching on.

Will fuck you up, yet somehow legal.

It causes cancer in about half the people who smoke them. Then when they are going through chemotherapy, which for those who don’t know, sucks massive balls. Your hair falls out, you feel drained all the time, and you can’t eat because you can’t keep any food down. You know what alleviates those symptoms though?


Hollywood O.G. cures f--king everything.

That’s right. Weed.



3) But what about car crashes?

Alcohol is more responsible for accidents and fatalities nationwide. Alchol is legal. Why don’t we ban that? Oh, that’s right, it was repealed because it failed miserably. Funny how people in the 1920’s, people who didn’t have TV, the internet, cell phones, blogs, computers, three-headed dildos,  and Roombas have more common sense than us.

I wonder if alcohol was involved?


4) But what about our morals?

our "supposed" morals...


First off, OUR morals? WE don’t have any d—n morals. You have yours, and I have mines. My morals stop where your body begins, and I would hope you felt the same way. This is what I mean by making weed illegal is the same thing as supporting slavery. You feel like your morals extend to what I can and cannot do with my own body. That’s what slavery is at is basis. Slavery is one man saying, “I know what should be done with your body and life better than you, and if you don’t agree, I will kill you”. It’s the same a criminalizing weed, except for slavery is total contol of moraals, while weed is just one specific area.

You want to criminalize something? Criminalize being fat. They are always in the d–n way, spilling over into my f–kin seat on flights, and generally a nuisance to everyone around with their heavy breathing, greasy sweat, and mild gravitational pull.

His own gravity field is crushing him.

So let’s have a vote on Prop 299+ for criminalizing fat people in public. Stay your ass at home and get a Wii Fit and a stairmaster and don’t come out until you look presentable.

Lock all these fat hoes up for life for this crime against humanity.


3 responses

  1. CRYM

    Great piece, I can really identify with the bit about morals being individual and subjective rather than universal.

    November 3, 2010 at 3:54 pm

  2. Herp Derpowski

    In order to get the retards of society to understand that morals are personal and “separation of the church and state” means that they actually shouldn’t attempt to teach creationism to EVERYONE in public schools, you have to eliminate their source of arrogance. They think their morals are so great because they have a purportedly omnipotent imaginary friend to back them up. To all the logical people out there, this sounds like a bunch of dog s–t. Well, it is! However, the retards do not respond positively to logic, instead choosing to ignore rational thought and simply say something along the lines of “Herp derp you will go to hell.” In case any of those retards are reading this, by now you should have almost figured out I’m talking about the most fecal institution of civilization. Religion. This is the source of all dysfunction regarding retards telling others what they can and can’t do. And until their imaginary friend lies in ruin, they will keep oppressing the rational population. Now, what do we do?

    November 4, 2010 at 6:19 pm

  3. Mr. Hat

    While I do agree that weed should be legalized (with no restriction on quantity; fuck that. I’d say quality control would be the only thing needed), I’d disagree that denial of God would need any involvement in this, although I am very much against religion. Most everybody in the Bible smoked weed, the goddamn forefathers smoked weed, and, in all honesty, the people currently decrying it are probably hitting the bong every now and then, too.

    And Colin, don’t remind me.

    November 4, 2010 at 11:28 pm

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