How To Build a Generic Rap Verse That Dumb People Will Love

Pardon the enormous title, this isn’t a Panic! at the Disco song. Recently, my talents were commissioned to write a verse for a remix of the popular Wiz Khalifa song “Black and Yellow” called “Black and Blue”. My only instructions were “it’s supposed to be like motivation” and “no swearing”. Knowing my audience, I used a mental checklist to construct a flawless pop rap verse (link to the song included):

http://soundcloud.com/yungcmusik/black-blue-1

-Using the phrase “you already know”, implying a reputation that precedes an introduction

-Clever, easily understood reference to a popular movie

-Clever, easily understood, non-offensive religious reference

-Use of staple vocabulary that white people still can’t fully grasp such as “lames” and “ball” as a verb

-Sports reference that neither makes complete sense nor requires any actual knowledge of sports

-Reference to jewelry

-The term “(noun) status”

-Ending a clause with an adjective

-Any word ending in -matic

-Racing analogy

-Offer to “teach” opponents your successful way to replace their unsuccessful way

-Clever reincorporation of the title

-Explicit reference to violence

-Conclusive punchline

Now you try!