Greg on Gadgets, Girls, Games, and Ghetto Ish

Sit Your Hypersensitive Ass Down In The Corner

So, I had an argument on Twitter. Big surprise. Here’s the twist. I was called a sexist/misogynist/dude that hates black women at the end of it. Why? Because I said this:

I personally dont fuck with chicks that have weaves & lace fronts. Never met a smart chick with them so…

That’s what I said.

Now to my readers familiar with logic, what we have there is a conditional statement. The two conditions are:

A. They are rocking a weave or lace front.

B. I have met them in person. (i.e. been out with them in a social setting, conversed with them about various subjects, etc.)

If those 2 conditions are true, then I consider them not smart.

Not smart you say?

Yes, that’s what I said.

Now, maybe your definition of smart is the nigga that can add up how much of a tip to leave in their head just by looking at the bill, but my criteria is quite a bit higher, considering I’m a certified genius and all. I consider very few people that most think are smart as such. Smart is a subjective word, and is subject to the speaker and their frame of reference.

Then the lovely @MzTamz responded with this:

i think that is in poor taste and we are probably in a different social class. doesnt mean shes stupid.

Also, when the fuck did “not smart” turn into “dumb”? There is a HUGE grey area between the two.

apparently there is a hookah lounge there too.

Now on to the hypersensitive ass women that jumped on my back. Now women, and especially black women, I understand that it feels like sometimes the world hates you. Dudes don’t want to respond on dating sites to you, you get paid less for doing the same job as men, portrayed as the “Angry Black Woman” in media, all sorts of negative ish too numerous to mention in this article, and hell, deserves an article in itself. I understand this, I know this, but how is saying this:

“I don’t date women with weaves and lace fronts because all of the ones I have met have intelligence levels ranging from above average to dumb as hell, and I want a woman I consider smart.”

different from

“I personally dont fuck with chicks that have weaves & lace fronts. Never met a smart chick with them so…”

Absolutely nothing.

At all.

But I was told these statements, again from the beautiful @MzTamz:

I still disagree. I think ur language is off.

&

same with referring to women as hoes and what not. but we are not on the same page at all because it is demeaning. whether you mean it to be or not. thats how it is dangerous.

Same logical statement with the same conditions. The “problem” was with how I said it. Oh, so I’m supposed to protect the feelings of a whole bunch of people I have never met eh?

And when did I EVEN refer to all women as hoes? Oh wait, I didn’t.

SHUT MY SITE DOWN! AS I APPARENTLY CANNOT HAVE AN OPINION THAT OFFENDS OTHERS! IT’S A WRAP PEOPLE!

Get all the way the fuck out of here with that noise.

Then I made a tweet that said this:

Plus I call lace fronts “hoe helmets”. Call me elitist, whatever, but hoes and ratchets love em. Not my fault.

Hold on, but here’s the kicker. I was told this little gem by @MzTamz

NO i am saying that you referred to lace fronts as hoe helmets and that hoes and ratchets wear them. then you said ppl who wear them are not smart. This is not that difficult. YOU are the one being offensive.

Now check it. She never actually said what I was saying isn’t true, just that I was “offensive” for pointing out such things. Oh okay, so there was no real argument there except they wanted me to conform my language so that it was pleasing to them.

No what I would like? For the bank to conform their accounting practice to make more errors in my favor in my account. Guess what? Ain’t happening.

Then there was this exchange by myself and the ravishing @MzTamz

Stereotyping is never ok. but ok RT @theblackmurse: MzTamz –its not my fault for including you in a group that’s known for certain things.

REALLY?

REALLY?

REALLY SON?

Apparently son. I guess it’s cool though if she turns down any guy for any reason ever due to a choice he consciously made. I wasn’t choosing these women because they were black, or downing them because they were woman, but because of, now pay attention to this part, OF A CONSCIOUS CHOICE THEY MADE. It is perfectly okay to discriminate on those grounds. We all, both man and woman, adult and child, black and white, do this EVERY DAMN DAY. That’s why we don’t loan money to crackheads, why we don’t want to sit next to the really fat person if we don’t have to, why we give the white dude with the sheet, hood, and confederate flag belt buckle the O_o. It’s because of life experience has taught us this.

Life experience.

Which is personal and anecdotal.

Which she tried to tell me was wrong.

Do you honestly know what it would take to prove her case? She would have to know EVERY woman I have come into contact with since I have been dating, and considering she hasn’t met me in my life, I’m pretty sure that establishes her argument as bullshit.

Then when that failed, she (@MzTamz) jumped straight to the “YOU ARE A HATEFUL SEXIST” with these two remarks:

The point is that your language is harmful. I said it was dangerous cause I assumed you werent hateful. But you are

&

you are missing the point. you dont have to say “all women”

Her argument basically boiled down to “You say offensive things and don’t care, but you implied by talking about one subset of people who make a conscious choice aren’t smart, you are REALLY saying all human beings with a vagina are dumb.”

WTF.

If I thought that, I would have said it.

Plus, and here is a very important thing, if you are going to call someone a sexist, you want to at least make sure of this one thing:

THAT THEY DIDN’T WRITE A BLOG POST ABOUT HOW SEXISM IS FUCKED UP LESS THAN 2 HOURS AGO.

Just saying.

So please, don’t be the reactionary that plays the race card or the gender card without doing your due diligence on the person you are accused of talking about. It’s a bad look. It’s like the dude in the barber shop that proclaims “If the NBA gives the MVP to Kobe instead of Derrick Rose they are racist!” You aren’t really thinking your position through and only trying to discredit the other person through loaded and virulent language, not by actually arguing what they have to say.

Also what’s with all the faux concern about who I put my penis in? You can’t call me thirsty in one sentence while being concerned about the goings-on of my penis.

Finally, don’t do all that subtweeting with the lies and all that. “@ me or dap me” that’s what all the cool kids are saying now right? Do that. I also sincerely hope all of those women who think stereotyping is never ok give that guy with the face and neck tattoos and a rap sheet for domestic violence their number, because hey, you can’t make judgement calls off of life experience. 😉

But when it’s all said and done, I got love for all women, even the hotheaded and irrational ones. I feel your pain, but calm all that hypersensitive ish down. So if you still got beef or whatever, let it go, because guess what?

 

It’s just Twitter, folks.

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4 responses

  1. KSFem

    Well, for one, it isn’t a good look to carry over personal Twitter beef to your blog and call out someone’s name. I just think that’s on the immature side. You could have referenced the comments without putting her name on blast.

    I think what people are responding to the idea that you’re saying you don’t mess with ABC because you’ve never met ABC that is XYZ. It’s a statement many people say, but it is limiting. People who fall into both the ABC and XYZ category might take issue because they know they are both and despite you not having personally encountered both, it doesn’t mean they don’t exist.

    Now, you say you haven’t met them. Ok, that’s fine. We haven’t met everyone in the world. We can acknowledge that they CAN exist, however. But what you have done is totally dismissed an entire group of people simply because you have never encountered them.

    That’s like me saying I don’t mess with Black men without college degrees because I never met one that could hold a conversation with me. Does this mean that every Black man without a degree is incapable of having a conversation, simply because I haven’t met one? No. Does it mean I’m being fair by totally dismissing all Black men w/o degrees simply because I haven’t met one who could hold a conversation? No, I’m not being fair.

    However, at the end of the day, it is my choice to take that stance on things. And, if I put that stance out there, I should expect and be prepared for whatever feedback comes with it.

    I think that’s where you missed the mark. You’re mad that someone dared called you on it and challenge you. Mad enough to write an entire blog about it and call her out by name.

    That’s uncool.

    March 30, 2011 at 3:23 pm

    • But I didn’t exclude nor did I make a judgment call about every woman I haven’t met. The statement intentionally limited itself to a particular group, and then based off of my life experiences with that group, I’m making an informed personal decision about further dealings with people who fall into XYZ. We ALL have preferences. I’ve personally heard you talk about not dating men that isn’t into certain things by choice. It looks foolish to not be able to say “I exclude myself from dating X who make conscious decision Y because that leads me to believe Z.”

      It’s called life experience.

      If in your life experience all the guys you would be interested in dating that didn’t have X were Y and that’s why you won’t date them, who am I to challenge you? That would imply I know your ENTIRE life and can tell you that you are wrong. I can’t do that, that’s foolish and arrogant, and then to say well you hate ALL MEN because you won’t date one’s with college degrees is so ridiculous that your name SHOULD be attached to such statements, in my eyes.

      You don’t get to get away with calling someone something that is demonstrably false and think its cool, and I don’t sub-tweet, sub-write, sub-anything. Just like I’m willing to stand my by words, I will make them stand by theirs.

      Plus, like I said, I ain’t even mad. I thought it was hilarious, just like the dude that’s an asshole/dumb as bricks thinks he didn’t getting the job because he’s black but they hired another black person instead of him. You point, you laugh, and move on.

      I think the real problem is the inability for my detractors to see the blatant hypocrisy within their own lives, and see that they make statements EVERY DAY, whether it be in public or internally, whether it be “I don’t fuck with niggas that work at McDonalds” or “I don’t fuck with niggas that live in a certain place”, its all the same.

      That’s what I mean by hypersensitive.

      The interesting part is I said I don’t befriend niggas with face tattoos and all was silent on the western front. No calls of saying I hate all men, no telling me I shouldn’t generalize, none of that. Just a few lol’s and RT’s.

      Hence only logical statement I can derive from this incident is that there are a lot of hypersensitive people out there, and some black women are quick to attack a man if he even THINKS something negative about black women, which then gives the appearance that black women are immune to any outside criticism, which in the eyes of a sexist, would give them yet another reason to hate women, and the fucked up part is, you are giving them this ammunition.

      It’s like when some random ass famous black person does some ratchet ish that makes the news. We all groan because its like “damn, you out here making us look bad, I’m not trying to get that side-eye at the water cooler tomorrow and feel like I have to explain/justify your dumb ass actions.”

      But hey, maybe I’m not an effective communicator. I can live with that, as I hate people for the most part anyways.
      😉

      March 30, 2011 at 3:41 pm

  2. D

    I think one of the biggest issues is that you are a writer. As a writer you knew that you could have made that same statement in a way that would have been less offensive but you made a conscious effort not to. You made that decision because you knew it would press some buttons and that’s what you got out of it. I would say that you do care, you may not be mad but you do care because you took the time to defend your words in a blog post.

    Reading over some of your statements I am going to have disagree with the notion that people were being hypersensitive. If someone is offended a statement that is made, whether you feel they should be offended or not, its not up to you to determine their sensitivity levels. People react to things differently, you may not have intended to offend anyone but if you did it wasn’t because they were being hypersensitive but because your word choice was offensive to them.

    It is ok to make personal decisions based on your life experiences however when you make statements based on your life experience you have to remember how limited those experiences are and how those comments will be perceived by your audience. My life experiences can directly counter yours when it comes to women I’ve met that either wear lace fronts or weaves. It doesn’t make me any more right than you, however your statement is limiting and that’s why people got offended.

    March 30, 2011 at 7:11 pm

    • First off, I’m not a writer. Just because I blog doesn’t make me a writer. I wish I was, but I’m not. I’m honored that you think I am though, it means a lot. I’m just a dude with too much access to the internet. I talk shit on the internet. Sometimes I’m funny, sometimes I’m not.

      Being offended and then telling people they should censor themselves because someone offends you is dumb, and being hypersensitive.

      Some old slave-owning dude from the 1700’s said it best:

      “I may not like what you say, but I will defend your right to the death to say it. Unless you are a nigga, then get your ass back in the field.”

      Something like that. Don’t quote me.

      March 31, 2011 at 1:00 am

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