The close to DOA tablet from Motorola may just have been given a small spark of life. After Verizon was bombarded with complaints about the fact that if you bought an off-contract Xoom for $800, (nearly $275 more than an iPad), you also had to buy at least one month of a data plan to unlock WiFi. Pretty much everyone knew this was BS and complained from the jump, on top of the high ass price it charged for the tablet. But, Verizon has relented and now you can buy the Xoom with 3G and WiFi both unlocked from the jump. Me, on the other hand, I’m waiting for the $600 WiFi-only version, if I even get one, because I’m still on the fence about dealing with Motorola’s hypocritical business stance and locked bootloaders.
Now, as many people have seen, either from tech news or the obnoxious ass Super Bowl commercials, the iPhone 4 is coming to Verizon in the coming week. Some of yall out there may be excited about this, as it gives you a chance to jump ship from AT&T’s notoriously crap-ass service, bother phone and customer-wise. Well, before you get your hopes all up and drop that tax refund money from claiming your fast-ass cousin’s new baby so you can stunt with what you think is the latest and greatest, let me educate you on some things.
It’s Old Technology
That’s right. It’s old shit. There are at least 5 phones (including my Droid X) that outclass the iPhone 4 that are out right now, with about 10-12 coming out in the next couple months that will completely destroy it. It’s old tech. There are dual-core phones releasing this month on both AT&T and Verizon and more coming in March and April. This iPhone was already just barely behind the power curve when it released, it just had to stick to the selling point of its “Facetime” app and “It’s a fuckin iPhone!”. Yeah…no. For nerds like me, that isn’t flying once I look at your spec sheet.
The New iPhone is 4 Months Away
Now why in the hell would you lock yourself into a new 1 or 2-year contract over a phone that will become obsolete in the next 4 months? Shit makes no sense. Then 4 months from now after that brand new feeling has worn off and you see everyone jumping on the nuts of the new iPhone (4G or 5 or whatever they will call it), then you will want that. Problem is, Apple charges OUT THE ASS for their phones off-contract…and you already spent your tax refund on new shoes that you will only wear once to the club once you realize every other chick spent their money on the same shit, or you put a down payment on that new Chrysler 200 because that commercial with Eminem was really good. Welp, you are ass out with that obsolete ass phone.
(I said ass a lot didn’t I?)
Now don’t get me wrong, Verizon’s coverage and service is leagues better that AT&T’s, BUT, if you already have an iPhone, there is one BIG thing you will notice you can’t do on Verizon’s service (for now, you can on new 4G phones). You cannot do voice and data at the same time. Basically, you can’t talk on the phone and surf the web or use the GPS or anything that requires data. Yep, it sucks ass (there’s that ass word again). BUT the new iPhone will have a 4G LTE radio in it, so THAT one will be able to in 4 months. So calm your tits and be patient.
It’s a wack-ass iPhone, son!
In full disclosure, I should tell you, that at one point in time, I owned a white 16GB iPhone 3G. It was raw, at the time. Now, fast forward 2 years later, I own an Android phone. Specifically, a Droid X. Android is the new hot operating system, with 300,000 phones selling with Android on it EVERY DAY. It’s much more flexible, more open, and the majority of mobile developers are flocking to it and away from the Apple App Store and its draconian ass rules. I can change whatever the hell i want on my phone. Hell, I edited my 3G symbol to say I had 4G, just because I felt like it. Took 10 minutes. I could literally flood my blog with images of how my phone can look drastically different in 10 minutes, day-to-day. I can make my phone look like a completely different phone in 15 minutes or less. You know what your iPhone will look like? Everyone else’s iPhone. Have fun changing wallpapers all damn day. That shit is ass. This is 2011. I want to change my lock screen so instead of a slider it says “Ass & Titties” and you slide a bra across the bottom to unlock. I can do that shit. Apple doesn’t think you can handle that. Even if you jailbreak it you can’t do anything remotely to what I can do.
Example. Does this
look like this
Yet all of these have been my home screens at one point and it would take me less than 10 minutes to change between any of these.
Keep that iPhone ass son.
And as always, if you disagree…
According to to Verizon CEO Ivan Seidenberg during an interview with Fortune, has confirmed the iPhone coming to Verizon in early 2011. Rejoice those who like their head firmly wedged as far up Jobs’ ass as possible.
Well who didn’t see this coming? AT&T has a massively over-strained network due to all the iPhones out there, then the white iPhone got pushed back again to due to manufacturing issues, and Verizon, clearly showing that they can handle data hogs, with the average Droid user using more data than the average iPhone user without the outages. Then it went from hot rumor to ridiculously obvious when Verizon announced they were selling iPads with a MiFi hotspot router recently.
Now since Verizon is a CDMA network, and since most of the world runs on some type of GSM or HSPDA, its most likely that the Verizon iPhone won’t be a world phone, and instead will be limited to the U.S. and parts of Canada and Mexico. For most people though this isn’t a problem, as people hate leaving the country, because the U.S. is #1, and other countries couldn’t possibly have anything to offer.
My Opinion: iPhones suck. Not to say they aren’t good for what they do, but I see them more as a limitation than a enhancement. See, I’m a techie kind of guy, which is code for, “I like to play with gadgets and brag to you how much cooler my ish is than yours.” So the iPhone is like the military. If you have no discipline and your life sucks, then yeah the military is good for you. If you don’t know shit about technology and need your tech simple, the iPhone is a godsend. However, those of us who like to be creative, like to make things their own, and understand technology, iPhones are a stepping stone to high-end Android phones, like the Droid X, the Droid 2, and the Droid Incredible.
Perfect example: the iPhone JUST got wallpapers. Really? A shitty goPhone from 2006 had wallpapers. How are you JUST now getting them? You know why? Because Steve Jobs didn’t think you could handle it. It would be too complicated for you guys. Think about it. When your phone is so simple a 99-year old woman can pick it up and figure it out, your phone is pretty damn simple.
What can my phone do? Whatever the FUCK I want it to. I can have a video of me riding the back of a robot unicorn while firing a minigun and getting a blowjob from Angelina Jolie as a wallpaper if I so chose. That’s why my phone (Droid X) is the shit. Hey did you have a video you recorded and want to show people? No one wants to crowd around your small ass screen on that phone, and you can talk all day about your Retina Display, but you don’t even know what the hell that means. I can hook up my phone to an HDMI and we are watching videos in 720p. Run it. 8MP camera, so I can zoom in so close I can see a fly get a hard-on. Run it.
So if you are on Verizon and you REALLY want an iPhone, you don’t have much longer to wait. For those of us who have more than 10 functioning brain cells, we will pass.