Welp, softjunebreeze poisoned my mind with this video last night, so I feel its only right to share it with the rest of the populace. It’s directed by Eric from Tim and Eric Awesome Show that used to come on Adult Swim, so you can just imagine the fuckery that is going to happen in this video. Actually, you can’t. You really can’t.
Also download this 757 mixtape, bring you the best of the 757 in Virginia, like Missy, the Neptunes, Aaliyah, Timbaland, and others. It goes hard. I’ve been bumping this all damn day. Link and direct download after the back cover.
Alright I had to dip for a bit due to health concerns and whatnot, but I’m back. Now being gone, I have decided to switch up Music Monday a bit. Everyone likes to do it and put up their favorite song at the time. Nah, d–n that. I’m here solely to mess with you, and that I shall. So here’s my choice for MM.
Did you watch it? Good, I hope you did. Now this s–t will be stuck in your head for at least 24 hours, and good luck getting it out. You ever wonder why this song
got stuck in your head easily? Same d–n beat.
But seriously, someone explain to me the Gypsy Woman video. Only about 10 seconds of the video has anything to do with the song. Why are the two dudes with dreadlocks even dancing? The song is about a homeless woman. That’s nothing to dance about. Except for the time I made a homeless dude dance to B2K for a dollar, but that’s a separate story.
Then the floating hands? WTF? That song is ridiculous. Know why it was popular? It wasn’t the video, unless everyone was high. It was that catchy a– beat.Now you are cursed with it running through your head at random moments.
You are welcome.
Today’s first entry into Funny S–t Friday is an oldie and goodie. Now even though these are (usually) Youtube links, the ausio is usally (definitely) NSFW. So, with that being said, put on some d–n headphones.
This video is about the funniest thing on the web. Unforgivable has provided me with endless hours of entertainment and person memes. If you don’t see the humor the first time watching it, take the stick out of your ass and watch it a couple more times. It will get you, eventually.
This next one deals with Pokemon, and its one of those videos where words come out that you would never hear a human being speak. Enjoy.
After reading this story, I wonder what the hell would possess a person to see a train coming, a train which weighs about 100,000 fucking tons, and go, “yeah this would be a peachy keen time to walk across the tracks. Yeah I know the warning gate is down and the lights are flashing, and the train is like 12 feet away, but fuck it, why not?” I then realized the white people have no natural fear whatsoever. They don’t have to worry about the police whipping their ass at random, about drive-bys, gang fights, none of that. Just the occasional meth lab blowing up or priest touching their penis after service. Besides that, no fear.
Seriously. I can’t count how many times I’m driving anywhere and I see white people just stroll across busy intersections like they are superheroes or some shit. White people don’t have fear so they have to go bungee jumping or skydiving or in the Amazon fucking looking for the deadliest snakes or get stabbed in the chest by stingrays. It’s ridiculous. It stems from white privilege. Now I’m not a man who likes to complain, I’m a man of solutions, so here’s some ideas I have been kicking around.
Assign a black person to randomly fuck with you. Once a year they just show up randomly and fuck something of yours up in front of you. Twice a year they chase you down the street, four times a year they slap you in the back of the head, and once a month they give you a harassing phone call or slash your tires while you are at the mall. They won’t tell you when they are coming or what time this happens. It just will. You know it and they know. It’s unpredictable as the police shooting a black man for his wallet. It’s fear.
For the kids we can stage mock drive-bys where a gang of people drive by firing blanks at the kids while they wait for the school bus. That’ll put a fire in their ass, some shit in their underwear, and most importantly, fear in their hearts.
For all the people who like to get their Starbucks fix in the morning, there will be a black guy that stands right by the door, and once a day he will pick someone at random as they are trying to leave and smack their coffee out their hand. Not only is that hilarious for me, but it serves its purpose.
Also a really good idea is to have a random just slap the living fuck out of your hood while you are at a stop light. That will make you nervous for at LEAST the next hour, I promise you.
Oh, and every time some wanna-be rebel activist yells at the police, they automatically have the right to whip their legs like Rick James.
These are my solutions. If you have any others feel free to put them in the comments below.