Greg on Gadgets, Girls, Games, and Ghetto Ish

Posts tagged “Barack Obama

The War in Libya: GIF Edition

So Egypt had all these protests and the people told Mubarak

And then the people of Libya got the idea of freedom so they were like

But Ghaddafi didn’t think they were gonna do it because he was living like

But then they started actually attacking his places and he was like

Then when his army started defecting and taking weapons Ghaddafi was like

In the meantime America and Europe was all

Then the rebels started feeling themselves and Garfinelfunk was all like

And then started bombing the shit out of them and all the white folks were like

But gas started going up so Americans were all like

Since the rebels asked for our help and earlier we were all

We told them we were FINALLY coming to their aid so Gabootypopper was like

and then he was talking all types of ish about he this was gonna end up like

But then he agree to a ceasefire and we just was like

and bombed him anyways and enacted a no-fly zone and told him

TRUE STORY.


Election Day Story

The Tea Party was a bunch of racists who think black people (Obama) is all like

But the Democrats were too busy celebrating like

So the Republicans plotted to get the

and

and the Democrats were all concerned like

but their game plan was

and black people didn’t vote because they were too busy

so the Republicans won the House and feel like

and now the Democrats are all like

but most of the big Tea Party candidates lost so they feel like

and they told all the black people in the Senate to

and now black people are like

.

and the Tea Party would be happy but they are busy doing this

Since the Republicans run the House I just ask them one thing

TRUE STORY.


White People Need Fear

After reading this story, I wonder what the hell would possess a person to see a train coming, a train which weighs about 100,000 fucking tons, and go, “yeah this would be a peachy keen time to walk across the tracks. Yeah I know the warning gate is down and the lights are flashing, and the train is like 12 feet away, but fuck it, why not?” I then realized the white people have no natural fear whatsoever. They don’t have to worry about the police whipping their ass at random, about drive-bys, gang fights, none of that. Just the occasional meth lab blowing up or priest touching their penis after service. Besides that, no fear.

Noting to fear here...move along...

Seriously. I can’t count how many times I’m driving anywhere and I see white people just stroll across busy intersections like they are superheroes or some shit. White people don’t have fear so they have to go bungee jumping or skydiving or in the Amazon fucking looking for the deadliest snakes or get stabbed in the chest by stingrays. It’s ridiculous. It stems from white privilege. Now I’m not a man who likes to complain, I’m a man of solutions, so here’s some ideas I have been kicking around.

I bet he wishes he had some natural fear now...

Assign a black person to randomly fuck with you. Once a year they just show up randomly and fuck something of yours up in front of you. Twice a year they chase you down the street, four times a year they slap you in the back of the head, and once a month they give you a harassing phone call or slash your tires while you are at the mall. They won’t tell you when they are coming or what time this happens. It just will. You know it and they know. It’s unpredictable as the police shooting a black man for his wallet. It’s fear.

A-a-anyone seen an angry black man around?

For the kids we can stage mock drive-bys where a gang of people drive by firing blanks at the kids while they wait for the school bus. That’ll put a fire in their ass,  some shit in their underwear, and most importantly, fear in their hearts.

Carpool shows up promptly at 7:15 am

For all the people who like to  get their Starbucks fix in the morning, there will be a black guy that stands right by the door, and once a day he will pick someone at random as they are trying to leave and smack their coffee out their hand. Not only is that hilarious for me, but it serves its purpose.

Ice Cube will run the slap-yo-shit department

Also a really good idea is to have a random just slap the living fuck out of your hood while you are at a stop light. That will make you nervous for at LEAST the next hour, I promise you.

Oh, and every time some wanna-be rebel activist yells at the police, they automatically have the right to whip their legs like Rick James.

You know the consequences of this...

These are my solutions. If you have any others feel free to put them in the comments below.

This is plan B...