Greg on Gadgets, Girls, Games, and Ghetto Ish

Posts tagged “Fuck

Drawing The Line and Knowing Thy Role

Situation Breakdown:

You talk to a woman, get to know a woman, find out she has a dude she’s fuckin guy she’s “talking” to boyfriend, or she’s single but not interested then ends up with a boyfriend down the line. Ok, cool. You know your position now. No problem. You exchange numbers, have cordial conversations every now and again. You see each other at public gatherings and converse. Everything is swell.

Then you get this text message:

So, can I borrow like 200 dollars to get my A/C fixed?

Pump your brakes

EXCUSE ME?

I’m not your man. Sorry.

Ladies, there are certain things you just cannot ask of your male friends while you have a guy. They are:

  • Money
  • Clothes
  • Job hookups for Him
  • Food
  • Emotional Comfort

There are rules to the game of life, and one you must remember is:

“Whoever is pleasing the pussy must also provide for it”

Just like the cable, you gotta pay for that OnDemand pussy.

Point blank period.

The dude you laying next to, those are his responsibilities. You out here sucking his dick every night, but he can’t keep the lights on in your house? No bueno. That means you need to change your priorities up in the kind of men you are dating. It is up to HIM to get that money, be it overtime at work, hitting that corner, selling some dick to lonely obese housewives, asking his peoples, whatever. Your responsibility goes as far as either getting it YOURSELF, from your man, or your female friends. Why do you ask is the game like this?

1. It’s His Responsibility

It really is though. His woman wants or needs, it’s up to him to provide, not for some other man to supplement what he is lacking. Because at the end of the day, if she is getting down on her knees to please you every night, the least you can do is to put in some effort during these times to keep things smoothly. If he can’t handle that responsibility and it has you running to everyone but him when problems arise, it might be time for you to get a new guy.

2. It’s Disrespectful

Men are prideful people, so to ask another man for something instead of letting your man figure it out is tantamount to saying “You aren’t man enough to handle this problem, so I’m going to go to a real one who can.” No real man is having that shit, and can cause potential friction between your guy friend and your current beau. Also, any guy that you are dating that DOESN’T care that another man is taking care of your needs, is NOT a real man. Not now, not ever. Also, its disrespectful to the friend as well. What man do you know thinks its okay to take his money and then lay up with another man with it? I don’t know any. It’s basically saying, “Hey, you are good as my personal ATM/shoulder to cry on/chef, but not good enough to be anything romantically related.” Yeah, fuck that noise.

3. It’s Not My Pussy To Worry About

It just isn’t. I have my own bills and my own concerns, to which most of them I get something in return out of. I pay my cell phone bill, so I get in return cell phone service. I pay the light bill, I get lights and electricity. But what do I get in return for this work/money I give her? An “Aww, thanks” and that’s it. Then what does her guy get? The pussy I’m currently paying for. Fuck that. I’m not about to pay for someone else to reap the benefits of my work. Nah son, not me. When you date someone, they provide it all, mentally, spiritually, physically, emotionally, financially, all that. If he can’t do it, I’m damn sure not about to pay for your bad decision-making. If you are with a man and all he has is the physical aspect down pat, then shit, you need to work with that. If you want more, you need to drop him and go out and get someone who can get more. But know this, if I’m fronting 27% of the money coming into your household this week, I’m gonna want 27% of the blowjobs and sex that you are providing. I mean, it’s only fair right? If I’m gonna be up until 5 am having a woman crying on my shoulder, she damn sure better be a childhood friend or single, because I’m not about to lift your mood just so another guy can lift your skirt.

Know Your Role and uh...open them legs.

Know thy role ladies: if you have a man, let him take care of you. If he can’t or is unwilling to, you should take this as an opportunity to re-evaluate your relationship and what you are looking for in a man.

-GT

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Sit Your Hypersensitive Ass Down In The Corner

So, I had an argument on Twitter. Big surprise. Here’s the twist. I was called a sexist/misogynist/dude that hates black women at the end of it. Why? Because I said this:

I personally dont fuck with chicks that have weaves & lace fronts. Never met a smart chick with them so…

That’s what I said.

Now to my readers familiar with logic, what we have there is a conditional statement. The two conditions are:

A. They are rocking a weave or lace front.

B. I have met them in person. (i.e. been out with them in a social setting, conversed with them about various subjects, etc.)

If those 2 conditions are true, then I consider them not smart.

Not smart you say?

Yes, that’s what I said.

Now, maybe your definition of smart is the nigga that can add up how much of a tip to leave in their head just by looking at the bill, but my criteria is quite a bit higher, considering I’m a certified genius and all. I consider very few people that most think are smart as such. Smart is a subjective word, and is subject to the speaker and their frame of reference.

Then the lovely @MzTamz responded with this:

i think that is in poor taste and we are probably in a different social class. doesnt mean shes stupid.

Also, when the fuck did “not smart” turn into “dumb”? There is a HUGE grey area between the two.

apparently there is a hookah lounge there too.

Now on to the hypersensitive ass women that jumped on my back. Now women, and especially black women, I understand that it feels like sometimes the world hates you. Dudes don’t want to respond on dating sites to you, you get paid less for doing the same job as men, portrayed as the “Angry Black Woman” in media, all sorts of negative ish too numerous to mention in this article, and hell, deserves an article in itself. I understand this, I know this, but how is saying this:

“I don’t date women with weaves and lace fronts because all of the ones I have met have intelligence levels ranging from above average to dumb as hell, and I want a woman I consider smart.”

different from

“I personally dont fuck with chicks that have weaves & lace fronts. Never met a smart chick with them so…”

Absolutely nothing.

At all.

But I was told these statements, again from the beautiful @MzTamz:

I still disagree. I think ur language is off.

&

same with referring to women as hoes and what not. but we are not on the same page at all because it is demeaning. whether you mean it to be or not. thats how it is dangerous.

Same logical statement with the same conditions. The “problem” was with how I said it. Oh, so I’m supposed to protect the feelings of a whole bunch of people I have never met eh?

And when did I EVEN refer to all women as hoes? Oh wait, I didn’t.

SHUT MY SITE DOWN! AS I APPARENTLY CANNOT HAVE AN OPINION THAT OFFENDS OTHERS! IT’S A WRAP PEOPLE!

Get all the way the fuck out of here with that noise.

Then I made a tweet that said this:

Plus I call lace fronts “hoe helmets”. Call me elitist, whatever, but hoes and ratchets love em. Not my fault.

Hold on, but here’s the kicker. I was told this little gem by @MzTamz

NO i am saying that you referred to lace fronts as hoe helmets and that hoes and ratchets wear them. then you said ppl who wear them are not smart. This is not that difficult. YOU are the one being offensive.

Now check it. She never actually said what I was saying isn’t true, just that I was “offensive” for pointing out such things. Oh okay, so there was no real argument there except they wanted me to conform my language so that it was pleasing to them.

No what I would like? For the bank to conform their accounting practice to make more errors in my favor in my account. Guess what? Ain’t happening.

Then there was this exchange by myself and the ravishing @MzTamz

Stereotyping is never ok. but ok RT @theblackmurse: MzTamz –its not my fault for including you in a group that’s known for certain things.

REALLY?

REALLY?

REALLY SON?

Apparently son. I guess it’s cool though if she turns down any guy for any reason ever due to a choice he consciously made. I wasn’t choosing these women because they were black, or downing them because they were woman, but because of, now pay attention to this part, OF A CONSCIOUS CHOICE THEY MADE. It is perfectly okay to discriminate on those grounds. We all, both man and woman, adult and child, black and white, do this EVERY DAMN DAY. That’s why we don’t loan money to crackheads, why we don’t want to sit next to the really fat person if we don’t have to, why we give the white dude with the sheet, hood, and confederate flag belt buckle the O_o. It’s because of life experience has taught us this.

Life experience.

Which is personal and anecdotal.

Which she tried to tell me was wrong.

Do you honestly know what it would take to prove her case? She would have to know EVERY woman I have come into contact with since I have been dating, and considering she hasn’t met me in my life, I’m pretty sure that establishes her argument as bullshit.

Then when that failed, she (@MzTamz) jumped straight to the “YOU ARE A HATEFUL SEXIST” with these two remarks:

The point is that your language is harmful. I said it was dangerous cause I assumed you werent hateful. But you are

&

you are missing the point. you dont have to say “all women”

Her argument basically boiled down to “You say offensive things and don’t care, but you implied by talking about one subset of people who make a conscious choice aren’t smart, you are REALLY saying all human beings with a vagina are dumb.”

WTF.

If I thought that, I would have said it.

Plus, and here is a very important thing, if you are going to call someone a sexist, you want to at least make sure of this one thing:

THAT THEY DIDN’T WRITE A BLOG POST ABOUT HOW SEXISM IS FUCKED UP LESS THAN 2 HOURS AGO.

Just saying.

So please, don’t be the reactionary that plays the race card or the gender card without doing your due diligence on the person you are accused of talking about. It’s a bad look. It’s like the dude in the barber shop that proclaims “If the NBA gives the MVP to Kobe instead of Derrick Rose they are racist!” You aren’t really thinking your position through and only trying to discredit the other person through loaded and virulent language, not by actually arguing what they have to say.

Also what’s with all the faux concern about who I put my penis in? You can’t call me thirsty in one sentence while being concerned about the goings-on of my penis.

Finally, don’t do all that subtweeting with the lies and all that. “@ me or dap me” that’s what all the cool kids are saying now right? Do that. I also sincerely hope all of those women who think stereotyping is never ok give that guy with the face and neck tattoos and a rap sheet for domestic violence their number, because hey, you can’t make judgement calls off of life experience. 😉

But when it’s all said and done, I got love for all women, even the hotheaded and irrational ones. I feel your pain, but calm all that hypersensitive ish down. So if you still got beef or whatever, let it go, because guess what?

 

It’s just Twitter, folks.


Get The Fuck Off The Internet

This is going to be a list of shit that people need to get kicked off the fucking internet for. Like no bullshit kicked off the internet, or at least any type of social media.

Taking pictures of your baby laying in your tax refund money


Oh so you balling now huh?  Then why were you only drinking water at the bar last month and your car still sitting on a flat at your cousin’s house since last summer? This shit is the height of ignorance, and don’t worry, I’m gonna save that picture, so next time you talk about how you are too broke to do something, I’ll make sure to pull up the picture and ask about your baller status and why your baby doesn’t have any new clothes since that picture.

Not knowing the difference between there, their, and they’re (and related spelling errors)


Now I understand that some of you didn’t have parents who loved you and cared enough to make sure you write and speak proper English, but you are grown now, probably with kids on your own. It would behoove you for the sake of your kids to not make these spelling errors. Get a 4th grade workbook, take the GED for fun (or because you really need to pass it), and bone up on your grammar. You are embarrassing to know right now.

Inbox or DM people religious scriptures to people you know don’t believe in your religion


Look, good for you that your particular brand of fairy tales gives you life in the morning, and that without it you wouldn’t know what to do, but when you KNOW that the person you are messaging has no interest in your particular brand of crazy, and you do it anyways, you are just being a prick. Unless being a pretentious douche is a tenet of your religion, then cut that shit out. All you are going to do is make them resort to logic to destroy your beliefs and for you to get all defensive and go pray/bow/Kristna dance about it later on. Don’t be an internet Jehovah’s Witness, because everyone hates them.

Put up pictures at Myspace angles because you are fat as shit

You know who the fuck you are. Never taking pictures below the bra line or cropping the shit out of pictures. You’re fat. Own that shit. If you don’t want to own that shit, then you better own a bike, a treadmill, or a gym membership. These dudes you are talking to that you are flirting with are going to want to meet you eventually, and no one likes being deceived. If you have any pics like this:

I’m gonna need to to get the fuck off the internet and get the fuck on a diet.

for real son.


White People Need Fear

After reading this story, I wonder what the hell would possess a person to see a train coming, a train which weighs about 100,000 fucking tons, and go, “yeah this would be a peachy keen time to walk across the tracks. Yeah I know the warning gate is down and the lights are flashing, and the train is like 12 feet away, but fuck it, why not?” I then realized the white people have no natural fear whatsoever. They don’t have to worry about the police whipping their ass at random, about drive-bys, gang fights, none of that. Just the occasional meth lab blowing up or priest touching their penis after service. Besides that, no fear.

Noting to fear here...move along...

Seriously. I can’t count how many times I’m driving anywhere and I see white people just stroll across busy intersections like they are superheroes or some shit. White people don’t have fear so they have to go bungee jumping or skydiving or in the Amazon fucking looking for the deadliest snakes or get stabbed in the chest by stingrays. It’s ridiculous. It stems from white privilege. Now I’m not a man who likes to complain, I’m a man of solutions, so here’s some ideas I have been kicking around.

I bet he wishes he had some natural fear now...

Assign a black person to randomly fuck with you. Once a year they just show up randomly and fuck something of yours up in front of you. Twice a year they chase you down the street, four times a year they slap you in the back of the head, and once a month they give you a harassing phone call or slash your tires while you are at the mall. They won’t tell you when they are coming or what time this happens. It just will. You know it and they know. It’s unpredictable as the police shooting a black man for his wallet. It’s fear.

A-a-anyone seen an angry black man around?

For the kids we can stage mock drive-bys where a gang of people drive by firing blanks at the kids while they wait for the school bus. That’ll put a fire in their ass,  some shit in their underwear, and most importantly, fear in their hearts.

Carpool shows up promptly at 7:15 am

For all the people who like to  get their Starbucks fix in the morning, there will be a black guy that stands right by the door, and once a day he will pick someone at random as they are trying to leave and smack their coffee out their hand. Not only is that hilarious for me, but it serves its purpose.

Ice Cube will run the slap-yo-shit department

Also a really good idea is to have a random just slap the living fuck out of your hood while you are at a stop light. That will make you nervous for at LEAST the next hour, I promise you.

Oh, and every time some wanna-be rebel activist yells at the police, they automatically have the right to whip their legs like Rick James.

You know the consequences of this...

These are my solutions. If you have any others feel free to put them in the comments below.

This is plan B...