This post goes out to all the white people who live in damn near all-white areas and encounter a black person 2, 3 times a year tops. This one’s for you.
As I sat in Starbucks on my laptop smashing some oatmeal cookies Sunday night, a man comes in. White, middle aged, disheveled looking, but nothing out of the ordinary in Highland Park, where I live. I was at Starbucks because my internet was down for some crazy ass reason and I needed to finish some work and do some stuff for the blog. Well, backtrack. First it was only me and this white girl in there out of the whole coffee shop. There is a long couch that’s a good 14 feet long. She sat at one end, and I sat down at the other. In 30 seconds she got up and moved ALL the way over to the other side of the coffee shop. I guess a black man in medical scrubs is intimidating to her.
Anyways, so I have the whole couch to myself when this guy comes in. He proceeds to sit as close as he humanly could to me it seems, and keeps glancing at me. I’m zoning out typing so I’m not really paying him any mind. Then after about 2 minutes he breaks my concentration with a question:
“Hey, do you like reggae?”
I gave this dude the side-eye from hell. In my mind I was thinking to myself, “where in the hell is this line of questioning going?” So I responded,
“Nope. I hate it.”
Then he comes back with
“Well what about rap and R&B?”
Now I’m pretty much glaring down this dude trying to decide whether I should chop his ass in the throat or dump his coffee on his head…and then chop his ass in the throat. But I just respond
“Nope. I listen to blues, music from the 20s, 30s, and 40’s.”
I said this in hopes he would stop asking me questions, or basically shut the hell up talking to me. But he had to finish it off with this:
“Oh I just thought you listened to reggae because you look like a soulful person.”
What the fuck does that even mean? How does someone hammering away angrily on a laptop look soulful? That’s about the dumbest shit I ever heard, this month.
Listen white people, if you don’t encounter black people often, here’s a tip. Talk to us the same exact way you would a white person. Don’t come at us saying “What’s up bro” or “dog” or any unnecessary slang to make yourself look cool. It’s hella offensive and we immediately label you are either retarded or racist, sometimes both. So if you are about to say something to a black person you don’t know, ask yourself these things:
Am I asking because they are black?
Is this in any way associated with any stereotypes?
If the answer is no to both, then go ahead. But don’t be that guy or that silly ass racist chick either.
I should have stolen her purse.
I saw this hilariously dumb ass article on CNN. Now I know they are trying to not be biased, but come the fuck on now son. No one is shooting first at white folks because of stereotypes. They aren’t getting locked up at higher rates than their population numbers suggest, they aren’t treated badly due to stereotypes, they aren’t passed over for jobs because of skin color, none of that shit. NONE OF THAT SHIT HAPPENS TO WHITE PEOPLE.
When white people get crosses burned in their yard, let me fucking know.
Just the thought of this shit has me heated. I only can express my feelings right now with this GIF.
I just think this is just a different manifestation of racism, since the whole burning crosses and wearing sheets thing is unpopular now. So now instead they go for this “but WE are the victims! Yes, us, with all of our social privileges and benefits are victims!”
Yeah white people, you are oppressed here in the US. The black man for too long has had his boot on the neck of the white man.
Come the fuck on people.
Yep. Served 5 years in the military and I don’t vote. Never have and probably never will if society continues on the path it has been. Why should I vote? You tell me? For that positive feeling that you get when you feel you have made a difference by picking one bowl of shit over another? I mean, they are all bowls of shit, it’s just whose smell can you tolerate better. Here’s a better idea. How about no bowls of shit for candidates? That’s when I will start voting. If you need more reasons why I won’t vote, here go some more:
We all see them on every channel like 5011 times a day. We hear them on every radio staion like eleventy-billion times an hour. They all go along the lines of:
“Don’t vote for my opposition, he’s a douchebag who rapes baby llamas in his free time,”
the other guy’s attack ad says:
“That guy who says I rape baby llamas? well he’s a part of a hate group that uses little black babies as footballs and kicks them through the goalposts on the weekend. And he’s GAY!!!!”
So if I were to go to the voting booth and see both of their names, what am I to do? I mean, I’m damn sure not cool with baby llama rape, and I don’t think I’m okay with using little babies to kick field goals, though that would be hilarious in its own special way. Also what the fuck does being gay have to do with anything. I mean, he’s Republican, so it’s pretty obvious. So you tell me, what’s the point of voting when both candidates suck monkey balls?
2)Republicans are Racist
Sorry, but every Republican is racist until the either a) denounce the Tea Party completely, which is basically the KKK without the burning crosses or sheets, or b) start giving a shit about minorities.
“B-b-but the leader of the National Republican Party is Michael Steele! He’s black!”
Yeah, and the absolute ONLY reason why he is in the position is because Obama l=got elected. It’s like that subtly racist white guy who gets called out so his fall back response is, “I’m not racist! I have black friends! See!” Michael Steele, ladies and gentlemen, is that black friend. On top of that, he is incompetent as shit, which gives the Tea Party more evidence to back up their racist beliefs that black people suck.
3) People usually vote in the opposite of their interests
Yep. Look at the Tea Party. They are a bunch of middle-class white people who have had their inner racist exploited by corporations to to vote against the very change they seek. The want a reduced deficit? Obama has done that. Health care coverage? Obama has done that too. Stopped the recession before it got into a full-blown depression? Count it. Yet, these racist assholes vote for the same politicians that want to take everything away that has helped them, and why?
Because a black man did it and will get credit for it.
4) The Democrats are Punks
They are. How do you control both the House AND the goddamn Senate and struggle to get shit done? You had the majorities to pass anything you wanted in both, and yet all the infighting caused us to not get shit done. When the Republicans run shit, there is no infighting. They get shit passed, regardless of how shitty it is. If the party wants it, the shit gets through because at the end of the day, they are Republican and that’s who they stick to. Democrats? Nope. The rather bicker over silly shit and not get shit passed, and then instead of telling the world “The Republicans don’t give a fuck about you America” every time a bill fails, they are silent, while the Republicans bash the shit out of the Democrats about how ineffective they are, when THEY are the reason the Democrats can’t get shit done.
5) Batshit Crazy Candidates
Sharon Angle is batshit crazy. Christine O’Donnell? Batshit crazy. Kendrick Meeks? Batshit crazy. Michele Bachmann? Batshit crazy. That’s just the high-profile ones. Now I’m insane, but I have common sense. Most politicians have none. They are greedy asshole that like power. People that seek power over others are sociopaths, and why the hell would I vote for one? The government is composed of people who want to tell other people what they can and cannot do to themselves when it doesn’t affect anyone else. People who would like that kind of job are batshit crazy.
On top of that, they have the nerve to complain about it. These people make over 100k a year easy. Easy. Not to mention all the little “perks” they get from special interest groups that buy their votes on certain issues. These same people have the fucking nerve to come on TV and complain that they don’t want to read a bill because it’s 2000 pages long? Bitch, my tax dollars pay you, so you better read that damn bill. I read that much in about 2 weeks in my pree time, not counting the amount of reading I do at work. Shit that shit up. PLUS they have people that they can pay to read it for them and summarize it for them. That’s politics for you.
So while you all are out making a “difference” I will save my gas, time, and energy, and sit my black ass at home. If I do feel the sudden urge to vote, I will write-in Billy Dee Williams, because at least if he wins and fucks up, he’s at least going to sound good doing it.
Plus he was the only black guy in the Star Wars galaxy.