Welp, softjunebreeze poisoned my mind with this video last night, so I feel its only right to share it with the rest of the populace. It’s directed by Eric from Tim and Eric Awesome Show that used to come on Adult Swim, so you can just imagine the fuckery that is going to happen in this video. Actually, you can’t. You really can’t.
Also download this 757 mixtape, bring you the best of the 757 in Virginia, like Missy, the Neptunes, Aaliyah, Timbaland, and others. It goes hard. I’ve been bumping this all damn day. Link and direct download after the back cover.
Today’s first entry into Funny S–t Friday is an oldie and goodie. Now even though these are (usually) Youtube links, the ausio is usally (definitely) NSFW. So, with that being said, put on some d–n headphones.
This video is about the funniest thing on the web. Unforgivable has provided me with endless hours of entertainment and person memes. If you don’t see the humor the first time watching it, take the stick out of your ass and watch it a couple more times. It will get you, eventually.
This next one deals with Pokemon, and its one of those videos where words come out that you would never hear a human being speak. Enjoy.
I had a discussion with a woman who I know to be very intelligent and usually right, but on this issue she was so wrong. We argued and argued, and eventually she said this little nugget of wisdom:
“Fine we should legalize weed, then cocaine, then crack, then rapists, then murderers.”
I’m sad the say, but that was about the dumbest f–king thing I have heard in some hours. How do you equate weed=murder? Her argument stemmed from the fact that a colleague is paralyzed from an accident from being hit by a high driver. That’s sad, but driving under the influence of ANYTHING is against the law. Driving while sleepy is illegal too, so do you want to outlaw sleep? Can I not take a nap without being arrested? I mean, since you are so concerned about what I do with my body and all.
Let me break down to YOU, the people who did vote or who would have voted NO on Prop 19, why you are for slavery and are retarded as s–t.
1)Weed wasn’t made illegal because it got you high
It was made illegal because some douchebag paper baron who owned a metric f–kton of forest had a monopoly on the paper business. He was getting paper, both literally and figuratively. Then here come these a–holes with hemp. They were making ropes, clothes, getting high, and most important to him, PAPER. On top of that hemp was easier to grow and press into paper. So this dude, using his political connections (by connections, I mean big ass sacks of money thrown at politicians) got them to pass a federal law making weed illegal. If this prick wasn’t so greedy, you could have turned in your homework, got an A on it, then smoked your grade on the way home.
2) It’s harmful
You know what else is harmful. Nicotine. Especially in tobacco. Cigarettes, for those who aren’t catching on.
It causes cancer in about half the people who smoke them. Then when they are going through chemotherapy, which for those who don’t know, sucks massive balls. Your hair falls out, you feel drained all the time, and you can’t eat because you can’t keep any food down. You know what alleviates those symptoms though?
That’s right. Weed.
3) But what about car crashes?
Alcohol is more responsible for accidents and fatalities nationwide. Alchol is legal. Why don’t we ban that? Oh, that’s right, it was repealed because it failed miserably. Funny how people in the 1920’s, people who didn’t have TV, the internet, cell phones, blogs, computers, three-headed dildos, and Roombas have more common sense than us.
4) But what about our morals?
First off, OUR morals? WE don’t have any d—n morals. You have yours, and I have mines. My morals stop where your body begins, and I would hope you felt the same way. This is what I mean by making weed illegal is the same thing as supporting slavery. You feel like your morals extend to what I can and cannot do with my own body. That’s what slavery is at is basis. Slavery is one man saying, “I know what should be done with your body and life better than you, and if you don’t agree, I will kill you”. It’s the same a criminalizing weed, except for slavery is total contol of moraals, while weed is just one specific area.
You want to criminalize something? Criminalize being fat. They are always in the d–n way, spilling over into my f–kin seat on flights, and generally a nuisance to everyone around with their heavy breathing, greasy sweat, and mild gravitational pull.
So let’s have a vote on Prop 299+ for criminalizing fat people in public. Stay your ass at home and get a Wii Fit and a stairmaster and don’t come out until you look presentable.