The War in Libya: GIF Edition
So Egypt had all these protests and the people told Mubarak
And then the people of Libya got the idea of freedom so they were like
But Ghaddafi didn’t think they were gonna do it because he was living like
But then they started actually attacking his places and he was like
Then when his army started defecting and taking weapons Ghaddafi was like
In the meantime America and Europe was all
Then the rebels started feeling themselves and Garfinelfunk was all like
And then started bombing the shit out of them and all the white folks were like
But gas started going up so Americans were all like
Since the rebels asked for our help and earlier we were all
We told them we were FINALLY coming to their aid so Gabootypopper was like
and then he was talking all types of ish about he this was gonna end up like
But then he agree to a ceasefire and we just was like
and bombed him anyways and enacted a no-fly zone and told him
TRUE STORY.
Music Monday: Stalley – Intelligent Trunk Music
Shoutout to @softjunebreeze for putting me on to Stalley, from Brooklyn by way of Ohio. He’s like Curren$y, except for more cars and no weed. His production is outstanding, especially on SLAP and 330. Definitely a download for real, and you can’t beat $free.99 so, get it. We could def use more support for artists that aren’t crappy.
Are Whites Racially Oppressed? Fuck No They Aren’t
I saw this hilariously dumb ass article on CNN. Now I know they are trying to not be biased, but come the fuck on now son. No one is shooting first at white folks because of stereotypes. They aren’t getting locked up at higher rates than their population numbers suggest, they aren’t treated badly due to stereotypes, they aren’t passed over for jobs because of skin color, none of that shit. NONE OF THAT SHIT HAPPENS TO WHITE PEOPLE.
When white people get crosses burned in their yard, let me fucking know.
Just the thought of this shit has me heated. I only can express my feelings right now with this GIF.
I just think this is just a different manifestation of racism, since the whole burning crosses and wearing sheets thing is unpopular now. So now instead they go for this “but WE are the victims! Yes, us, with all of our social privileges and benefits are victims!”
What?
Yeah white people, you are oppressed here in the US. The black man for too long has had his boot on the neck of the white man.
Come the fuck on people.
Rush Limbaugh Shows His Racism; America Feigns Surprise
She needs to punch the shit out of him.
Rush Limbaugh, known for recently attacking Michelle Obama for (GASP!) telling people in the midst of an obesity epidemic that we need to start eating healthier, giving suggestions for healthier eating ,and for schools to CONSIDER adopting healthier school lunches. SO of course his natural racist reaction is to say she is a socialist, community organizer, and probably a Martian. After being trashed for being a prick, which is nothing new, he then comes out and says this bullshit here:
“Some people are suggesting that my comments were below the belt,” Limbaugh said. “Well, take a look at some pictures. Given where she wears her belts, I mean she wears them high up there around the bust line. Isn’t just about everything about her below the belt when you look at the fashion sense she has?”
Really son?
Soooo, you fat no tie wearing sexually harassing bastard has a modicum of women’s fashion sense eh? Then explain this picture of your Republican darling Sarah Palin AND her daughter.
Racism + Fashion = Rush Limbaugh
Get the fuck outta here son.
Fam...
Talking Shit on Facebook? Your Job Can’t Do Shit.
Yes! People rejoice! We all have had jobs where we need to vent, and now you can vent your ass off on statuses on Facebook and Twitter, now due to the settling of a case out of court by a Connecticut ambulance service who fired a woman for complaining about her boss on Facebook in a status update.
She's talking shit.
As long as your aren’t being specific about who and where you are referring to, you can pretty much say anything you like, and if they fire you, you can sue that ass and get that nice settlement. So vent away and unleash your rachetness corporate drones!
Breaking News: Dogs More Important Than Black Man
So, white people, we get it. Clearly dogs are more important than black people. We always suspected it, but now you have made it as a fact of law in this country. Now explain to me why you sit and wonder why terrorists want to blow us (and by us, I mean just yall, they know we are victims of circumstance) up? What are your excuses now? Is it still because they hate our freedom? Yes, I too also hate the freedom of white cops killing black people with no consequence but if a black man kills a dog he is running a criminal enterprise. I don’t think (or maybe it is, who knows) this was the freedom the founding fathers had in mind. Don’t believe this is the case? Let’s compare the two cases.
Crime: Michael Vick was convicted of fighting dogs. Dogs. People eat dogs in some countries. Explain to me why its okay to eat some animals but not others, to do f–ked up things like cut their heads off, but not others? Oh, that’s right, someone’s personal preference imposed upon everyone else. The problem with that is, people born into this country don’t agree with what some random dude says. If I love and adore monkeys, can I call the police on the zoo if I see monkeys fighting while people are watching? Nope, sure can’t.
Also, FYI. Dog meat? Delicious.
Crime: Shooting and unarmed black man accused of fighting on a train even thought EVERYONE present said he wasn’t fighting, then got shot in the back of the head by a racist white cop. Enough said.
Sentencing: When Micheal Vick was up for sentencing even though he had a plea deal the courts went for every enhancement they could get. RICO statues and all that. With the racist white cop, the jury found him guilty on tye enhancements and the judge threw it out. The enhancement they threw out? Using a gun while in the commission of the crime. Apparently according to the judge he didn’t. Even though he was SHOT with a GUN in the back of the head, with multiple videos all over the internet, he wasn’t shot and the GUN enhancement was thrown out.
So apparently dogs mean more to white people than black people. Good to know for future reference. Thanks white folks, for all you have done for the past 400 years for us.
Dumb White B—hes – 11/4/10
by Colin Miller
It’s no secret that women are dumb (Except for you, baby!…s–t, there goes another one), but here in Highland Park, Illinois, every day is like a journey into the mind of an autistic giraffe. For example, a particularly DWB sits behind me in my AP Psych class. The teacher was explaining how drugs cause your body to unnaturally release chemicals to make us feel a certain way, giving the example of how heroin floods your body with endorphins, which you then crave making the drug addictive. The DWB raised her hand, and in a voice like a jewish dolphin with a shoddy nose job asked:
“So, like, you feel good when you’re high, and then its, like, bad when you crash?”
Yes. It is, in fact, bad to not feel good. Dumb White B—h.
This same DWB had previously asked during an animation of fetal development, “Why does the baby only have one eye?” The video was the side view of the fetus. Dumb White B—h.
I can thank another teacher for giving me such sparkling gems of fecal wisdom as, “It’s not rocket scientry, guys,” and “The line where you write the money for the check is its legal tenure.” It’s like the former president himself is teaching the class. Dumb White B—h.
Stay tuned for more DWB updates next week, and be glad you don’t live here.
-CRYM
Election Day Story
The Tea Party was a bunch of racists who think black people (Obama) is all like
But the Democrats were too busy celebrating like
So the Republicans plotted to get the
and
and the Democrats were all concerned like
but their game plan was
and black people didn’t vote because they were too busy
so the Republicans won the House and feel like
and now the Democrats are all like
but most of the big Tea Party candidates lost so they feel like
and they told all the black people in the Senate to
and now black people are like
.
and the Tea Party would be happy but they are busy doing this
Since the Republicans run the House I just ask them one thing
TRUE STORY.
I Don’t Vote
Yep. Served 5 years in the military and I don’t vote. Never have and probably never will if society continues on the path it has been. Why should I vote? You tell me? For that positive feeling that you get when you feel you have made a difference by picking one bowl of shit over another? I mean, they are all bowls of shit, it’s just whose smell can you tolerate better. Here’s a better idea. How about no bowls of shit for candidates? That’s when I will start voting. If you need more reasons why I won’t vote, here go some more:
How I spend Election Day
1)Attack Ads
...and make me delicious McRibs.
We all see them on every channel like 5011 times a day. We hear them on every radio staion like eleventy-billion times an hour. They all go along the lines of:
“Don’t vote for my opposition, he’s a douchebag who rapes baby llamas in his free time,”
the other guy’s attack ad says:
“That guy who says I rape baby llamas? well he’s a part of a hate group that uses little black babies as footballs and kicks them through the goalposts on the weekend. And he’s GAY!!!!”
So if I were to go to the voting booth and see both of their names, what am I to do? I mean, I’m damn sure not cool with baby llama rape, and I don’t think I’m okay with using little babies to kick field goals, though that would be hilarious in its own special way. Also what the fuck does being gay have to do with anything. I mean, he’s Republican, so it’s pretty obvious. So you tell me, what’s the point of voting when both candidates suck monkey balls?
2)Republicans are Racist
Gotta love Texas math.
Sorry, but every Republican is racist until the either a) denounce the Tea Party completely, which is basically the KKK without the burning crosses or sheets, or b) start giving a shit about minorities.
“B-b-but the leader of the National Republican Party is Michael Steele! He’s black!”
Yeah, and the absolute ONLY reason why he is in the position is because Obama l=got elected. It’s like that subtly racist white guy who gets called out so his fall back response is, “I’m not racist! I have black friends! See!” Michael Steele, ladies and gentlemen, is that black friend. On top of that, he is incompetent as shit, which gives the Tea Party more evidence to back up their racist beliefs that black people suck.
3) People usually vote in the opposite of their interests
Wait...what?
Yep. Look at the Tea Party. They are a bunch of middle-class white people who have had their inner racist exploited by corporations to to vote against the very change they seek. The want a reduced deficit? Obama has done that. Health care coverage? Obama has done that too. Stopped the recession before it got into a full-blown depression? Count it. Yet, these racist assholes vote for the same politicians that want to take everything away that has helped them, and why?
Because a black man did it and will get credit for it.
That’s why.
Asteroids: Clearly the black man's fault.
4) The Democrats are Punks
Sad but true
They are. How do you control both the House AND the goddamn Senate and struggle to get shit done? You had the majorities to pass anything you wanted in both, and yet all the infighting caused us to not get shit done. When the Republicans run shit, there is no infighting. They get shit passed, regardless of how shitty it is. If the party wants it, the shit gets through because at the end of the day, they are Republican and that’s who they stick to. Democrats? Nope. The rather bicker over silly shit and not get shit passed, and then instead of telling the world “The Republicans don’t give a fuck about you America” every time a bill fails, they are silent, while the Republicans bash the shit out of the Democrats about how ineffective they are, when THEY are the reason the Democrats can’t get shit done.
Fuckin punks.
5) Batshit Crazy Candidates
No caption needed.
Sharon Angle is batshit crazy. Christine O’Donnell? Batshit crazy. Kendrick Meeks? Batshit crazy. Michele Bachmann? Batshit crazy. That’s just the high-profile ones. Now I’m insane, but I have common sense. Most politicians have none. They are greedy asshole that like power. People that seek power over others are sociopaths, and why the hell would I vote for one? The government is composed of people who want to tell other people what they can and cannot do to themselves when it doesn’t affect anyone else. People who would like that kind of job are batshit crazy.
On top of that, they have the nerve to complain about it. These people make over 100k a year easy. Easy. Not to mention all the little “perks” they get from special interest groups that buy their votes on certain issues. These same people have the fucking nerve to come on TV and complain that they don’t want to read a bill because it’s 2000 pages long? Bitch, my tax dollars pay you, so you better read that damn bill. I read that much in about 2 weeks in my pree time, not counting the amount of reading I do at work. Shit that shit up. PLUS they have people that they can pay to read it for them and summarize it for them. That’s politics for you.
So while you all are out making a “difference” I will save my gas, time, and energy, and sit my black ass at home. If I do feel the sudden urge to vote, I will write-in Billy Dee Williams, because at least if he wins and fucks up, he’s at least going to sound good doing it.
Plus he was the only black guy in the Star Wars galaxy.
Change I can believe in.
White People Need Fear
After reading this story, I wonder what the hell would possess a person to see a train coming, a train which weighs about 100,000 fucking tons, and go, “yeah this would be a peachy keen time to walk across the tracks. Yeah I know the warning gate is down and the lights are flashing, and the train is like 12 feet away, but fuck it, why not?” I then realized the white people have no natural fear whatsoever. They don’t have to worry about the police whipping their ass at random, about drive-bys, gang fights, none of that. Just the occasional meth lab blowing up or priest touching their penis after service. Besides that, no fear.
Noting to fear here...move along...
Seriously. I can’t count how many times I’m driving anywhere and I see white people just stroll across busy intersections like they are superheroes or some shit. White people don’t have fear so they have to go bungee jumping or skydiving or in the Amazon fucking looking for the deadliest snakes or get stabbed in the chest by stingrays. It’s ridiculous. It stems from white privilege. Now I’m not a man who likes to complain, I’m a man of solutions, so here’s some ideas I have been kicking around.
I bet he wishes he had some natural fear now...
Assign a black person to randomly fuck with you. Once a year they just show up randomly and fuck something of yours up in front of you. Twice a year they chase you down the street, four times a year they slap you in the back of the head, and once a month they give you a harassing phone call or slash your tires while you are at the mall. They won’t tell you when they are coming or what time this happens. It just will. You know it and they know. It’s unpredictable as the police shooting a black man for his wallet. It’s fear.
A-a-anyone seen an angry black man around?
For the kids we can stage mock drive-bys where a gang of people drive by firing blanks at the kids while they wait for the school bus. That’ll put a fire in their ass, some shit in their underwear, and most importantly, fear in their hearts.
Carpool shows up promptly at 7:15 am
For all the people who like to get their Starbucks fix in the morning, there will be a black guy that stands right by the door, and once a day he will pick someone at random as they are trying to leave and smack their coffee out their hand. Not only is that hilarious for me, but it serves its purpose.
Ice Cube will run the slap-yo-shit department
Also a really good idea is to have a random just slap the living fuck out of your hood while you are at a stop light. That will make you nervous for at LEAST the next hour, I promise you.
Oh, and every time some wanna-be rebel activist yells at the police, they automatically have the right to whip their legs like Rick James.
You know the consequences of this...
These are my solutions. If you have any others feel free to put them in the comments below.
This is plan B...
