Greg on Gadgets, Girls, Games, and Ghetto Ish

Latest

Drawing The Line and Knowing Thy Role

Situation Breakdown:

You talk to a woman, get to know a woman, find out she has a dude she’s fuckin guy she’s “talking” to boyfriend, or she’s single but not interested then ends up with a boyfriend down the line. Ok, cool. You know your position now. No problem. You exchange numbers, have cordial conversations every now and again. You see each other at public gatherings and converse. Everything is swell.

Then you get this text message:

So, can I borrow like 200 dollars to get my A/C fixed?

Pump your brakes

EXCUSE ME?

I’m not your man. Sorry.

Ladies, there are certain things you just cannot ask of your male friends while you have a guy. They are:

  • Money
  • Clothes
  • Job hookups for Him
  • Food
  • Emotional Comfort

There are rules to the game of life, and one you must remember is:

“Whoever is pleasing the pussy must also provide for it”

Just like the cable, you gotta pay for that OnDemand pussy.

Point blank period.

The dude you laying next to, those are his responsibilities. You out here sucking his dick every night, but he can’t keep the lights on in your house? No bueno. That means you need to change your priorities up in the kind of men you are dating. It is up to HIM to get that money, be it overtime at work, hitting that corner, selling some dick to lonely obese housewives, asking his peoples, whatever. Your responsibility goes as far as either getting it YOURSELF, from your man, or your female friends. Why do you ask is the game like this?

1. It’s His Responsibility

It really is though. His woman wants or needs, it’s up to him to provide, not for some other man to supplement what he is lacking. Because at the end of the day, if she is getting down on her knees to please you every night, the least you can do is to put in some effort during these times to keep things smoothly. If he can’t handle that responsibility and it has you running to everyone but him when problems arise, it might be time for you to get a new guy.

2. It’s Disrespectful

Men are prideful people, so to ask another man for something instead of letting your man figure it out is tantamount to saying “You aren’t man enough to handle this problem, so I’m going to go to a real one who can.” No real man is having that shit, and can cause potential friction between your guy friend and your current beau. Also, any guy that you are dating that DOESN’T care that another man is taking care of your needs, is NOT a real man. Not now, not ever. Also, its disrespectful to the friend as well. What man do you know thinks its okay to take his money and then lay up with another man with it? I don’t know any. It’s basically saying, “Hey, you are good as my personal ATM/shoulder to cry on/chef, but not good enough to be anything romantically related.” Yeah, fuck that noise.

3. It’s Not My Pussy To Worry About

It just isn’t. I have my own bills and my own concerns, to which most of them I get something in return out of. I pay my cell phone bill, so I get in return cell phone service. I pay the light bill, I get lights and electricity. But what do I get in return for this work/money I give her? An “Aww, thanks” and that’s it. Then what does her guy get? The pussy I’m currently paying for. Fuck that. I’m not about to pay for someone else to reap the benefits of my work. Nah son, not me. When you date someone, they provide it all, mentally, spiritually, physically, emotionally, financially, all that. If he can’t do it, I’m damn sure not about to pay for your bad decision-making. If you are with a man and all he has is the physical aspect down pat, then shit, you need to work with that. If you want more, you need to drop him and go out and get someone who can get more. But know this, if I’m fronting 27% of the money coming into your household this week, I’m gonna want 27% of the blowjobs and sex that you are providing. I mean, it’s only fair right? If I’m gonna be up until 5 am having a woman crying on my shoulder, she damn sure better be a childhood friend or single, because I’m not about to lift your mood just so another guy can lift your skirt.

Know Your Role and uh...open them legs.

Know thy role ladies: if you have a man, let him take care of you. If he can’t or is unwilling to, you should take this as an opportunity to re-evaluate your relationship and what you are looking for in a man.

-GT

Rules For Men: Dealing With Rejection

Deal With It

I write this in the wake of an not-to-be-named person on Twitter who got publicly blasted. For what you say? For not dealing with rejection well. I know that most men have a huge ego, and no one wants to feel rejected. The problem is when you feel like you have to try to embarrass the woman who rejected you in hopes of maintaining your ego or respect. That, my fellow me, is a no-no. You look foolish as hell trying to down a woman you JUST thought highly enough to talk to, and here’s the dirty little secret: no one believes your antics. We all are laughing at you, not because you got rejected, but because you tried to play it off in such a ridiculous manner. Obviously some of you didn’t have fathers growing up, so allow me to enlighten you in how to deal with rejection with some do’s and don’ts.

Damn sure don't make this face when you approach her.

DON’T

  • Call her out her name once she tells you she isn’t interested.
  • Cat-call from down/across the street to get her attention. That’s disrespectful as hell.
  • Call her “Jeans”, “Hey you in the booty shorts”, “Lil Mama”, “Shorty”, Girl with the big titties”, none of that. Use “Miss”. That way it looks like you have some sort of home training.
  • Say “Well fuck you then,” or any variation of that. You look bitter.
  • (Online) Try to publicly out her or embarrass her. She can easily screenshot your thirst and upload it for the world to see.
  • Ask for some sort of sexual favor off the bat. That’s what Craigslist and prostitutes are for.
  • Try to assault her or accost her in hopes of bullying her number out of her. That’s fucked up. Also IT’S FUCKING ILLEGAL.

This man doesn't know what rejection is.

DO

  • Be respectful.
  • Thank her for her time.
  • Understand that you are selling yourself, almost like a product. If someone didn’t want to buy your knives from Amway, you wouldn’t cuss them out. Play the role.
  • Lead with a proper compliment. An example is, “I just wanted to say that you are looking quite beautiful today…” Not sexy or fuckable, it makes you look like you have a one-track mind.
  • Smile. It goes a long way.
  • Stare at her face. Not her chest or between her legs.

Yeah, your ego takes a blow. But people change their mind, and they do remember the one guy who didn’t act like a jackass when trying to approach them, especially when it’s rare for men of color to do so. If she doesn’t, oh well. You can walk away confident that you conducted yourself as a man, and not as an immature ass.

-GT

Kim Kardashian Hate: Justified or Not?

As most of the Twittersphere is aware of, Kim K. got ran through bustdown engaged yesterday to some random dude who plays on the New Jersey Nets proposed with a 20.5 carat 2 million dollar ring. Of course, this got people who spend too much time worried about people who they don’t even know all up in arms and at least 20 to 30 millions panties got collectively in a bunch. All types of shade and slander were thrown, wonder why a woman like her, whose coochie is pretty much given to any athlete as soon as they sign a contract like a the air freshener on a rear-view mirror when you buy a car, is deserving of a ring that damn big or even marriage. Like one tweet I saw, “2 million is a lot to pay for a cow when all of pro sports got the milk for free”. But where does all this hate stem from? And why the hell does it even matter?

Ray J paid her in hot wings and a bus pass.

This post will be written in 2 parts. The nice, compassionate, understanding side, and the well…ummm, dumb side.

Nice guy first.

COMPASSION INCOMING!

I get it. I see the shade. You worked your ass off in college with that 4.0, went out in the world, got a good job, gave that corporate world glass ceiling a smooth ass uppercut and you are making it. You work hard, and play harder. Yet you are single. Not only are you single, but you always seem to get caught up with the douchebags, the no ambition ass guys. Kim K. however is famous and gets money for doing shit but being on her back for famous men and gets the world on a silver platter. I get it.

Kim K. reminds you of those women you have encountered in your life that have rode by on their looks and contribute nothing to the world, the one that you get looked over for either at work or in your personal life, and then after the fellas have had their fill, want to come running to you for some substance. I get that. It sucks. You worked hard fine-tuning your mind into a razor-sharp trap with books, studying, frequent trips to the museums, yet seemingly good men fall at the feet of a woman who can’t even take the time to learn how to give a good blowjob.

Where’s your ring? You worked hard. You deserve it. That’s how you feel. Why should a woman whose most known for giving away the cooch to anyone have the world? Why should she rise to a higher level in life than you? How come if you were to do those same things, you would get nothing but negative attention? She’s superficial, she’s vain, and just not worthy. It’s all backwards, that’s what this world is. It’s misogynist, and fucked up. I get it. I feel you.

ASSHOLE SECTION AHEAD!

Harsh truth time. No one wants your bitter, uppity ass. Know why you are single? No man wants an angry woman. NONE. We get it, you worked hard. Guess what? So did I, and so did a lot of people out there who aren’t living that life. We aren’t bitter, and we aren’t worried about what the next person is doing. We are worried about being happy with what we got and focused on our OWN lives.

Guess what? You’re just as superficial as she is. If you think happiness comes in the form of a pro sports player and a 2 million dollar engagement ring, you are just as fucked mentally as she is. You’re degrees don’t mean shit with that kind of mentality, and that’s real.

This world doesn’t owe you shit. Get over it. You have bad relationships, probably because you chase men based upon what they have instead of who they are, and probably work off of appearances. Let me guess, he has to be 6’2″+, a certain skin color, a certain car, no kids, etc. You are looking for a dude that really doesn’t exist. You got this list and I bet ain’t one thing in there of substance. Get off that Disney ass Prince Charming fairytale. You let Santa go as a kid, let that shit go too.

Here’s another thing: I bet you like Khloe though. But here’s the dirty little secret, she’s JUST as bad as Kim. The main reason why you like her though is because she’s tall, awkward-looking, and not conventionally attractive. She is the physical embodiment of that awkward little girl inside of you from your high school days. She’s the ugly duckling that made it, that got her a baller. She’s that inner you, and that’s why you like her, why you sometimes live vicariously through her. She lets you know that you can have a face like Smegael and a body like Spongebob and still pull a rich guy.

Stop being so damn bitter and superficial. If you quantify love at any point in a relationship, you are already losing. Step your personality game up to the level of your work ethic and stop being worried about some other woman and her lifestyle.

-GT

My Internet Travels: Comedy and Comics

The Oatmeal – theoatmeal.com

Let me tell you, this is a new discovery by me, but this guy’s site is HILARIOUS as shit. He uses his artistic style to tell you what would normally be in a bllog post, has a book, and his more hilarious comics can even be ordered as a poster. Check his site out, and its SFW, so go ahead and die of laughter during lunch break.

Epic Meal Time – epicmealtime.com

First off, I like bacon. These dudes LOVE bacon. As in, they built a scale model building out of bacon. They fucking LOVE bacon. They are a bunch of Canadian cooks that make the most random meals, and they are epic as hell. The host, hilarious as shit. I mean, this dude has no script and I can’t even describe the tears I have weeped in laughter. The Food Network should seriously pick this show up.

Stop it B!

Felonious Munk is a comedian who rocks shows up and down the eastern seaboard, and makes the realest videos out there. Nothing better than something that makes you laugh and think at the same time. Catch his tweets at @felonious_munk

Where Are Our Action Stars?

For real. I need to know. Every generation has had some sort of American icon in movies, some hero, some dude that would kick ass, take names, shit on your cat, smash your girl, beat that one level you were stuck on, and make sure he did it all in a timely and efficient manner. From John Wayne to Bruce Willis, we have always had someone. Hell in the past 30 years, we have always had at least:

2 Americans (Bruce Willis, Sylvester Stallone)

2 Europeans (Jean-Claude & Arnold Schwarzenegger—>Jason Statham & Gerard Butler)

1 Asian (Bruce Lee–>Jackie Chan–>Jet Li–>Tony Jaa)

and at least 1 Black dude (Sydney Portier, Danny Glover, Wesley Snipes, Denzel Washington)

Gay arm wrestling?

But right now we have no Americans for real. Mark Wahlberg? Last action movie I enjoyed him in was The Big Hit (does The Other Guys count?), and that was a LONG time ago. Vin Diesel? Name 2 movies that were decent outside Fast and the Furious series…exactly. Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson? He’s more hilarious than anything. Watching wrestling has completely distorted me from taking him seriously ever. Tyrese? If you have followed him on Twitter for long than say, 5 minutes, you know why he’s out.  America is in a recession people, and it shows in our action movies. We are relying far too much on overseas talent to drive our movies. Gerard Butler and Jason Statham are in EVERYTHING. On top of that, anything involving out action heroes are never any new ideas, its always either:

a)based of a comic book

b)a sequel of a sequel of a prequel

2 shit birds with one crap ass boulder.

Where is the originality? The creativity?

It’s Gone.

I guess people are too busy on Facebook and being entertained by these:

– GT

Let’s Play A Game: Olde English Translations

Alright, so if you have read this site for any measure of time, I love internet memes and random ass GIF files that make me laugh. My favorite one right now though is this guy, Joseph Ducreux.

First off, this picture is hilarious as fuck without captions. Its at least 5000 niggas posing like this in pictures at the club every night, so to show that dudes was doing it in portraits 300 years ago makes it 100 times funnier. Now let’s introduce some memes based on this picture. Thanks to Meme Generator I can put my own captions. Let’s start with mines, shall we?

I think I’m pretty goddamn hilarious.

But lets play a game. I’m going to throw up a shitload of these and I want you to see how many of these you can guess what song or the original phrase this is from.

GAME ON.

1.

2.

3.

4.

5. 

6. 

ENJOY.

20,000 Hits and Counting

Yeah, I’m hitting 20,000 hits today, so I guess that means someone out there likes my blog. That means I definitely need to write more. I have always wanted this blog to be light-hearted, yet serious, and foremost informative. I want people to think for themselves, to come to their own conclusions, and I wanted to have fun doing it. I’ve been busy with work, reflection, catching up on a LOT of book reading I’ve been neglecting for months, and of course, more work.

But I definitely need to keep writing. I have a lot of thoughts I want to share with the people, and some of you seem to care, so, in the words of the immortal George Carlin, “why the fuck not?”

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.